The Unfiltered Health Podcast

73 - Unlocking Happiness, Building Connections and The Power of Support Groups and Your Community Networks

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Discover the incredible power of support groups and community networks in our latest episode of the Unfiltered Health Podcast. Whether you're navigating the challenges of first-time motherhood, embarking on a weight loss journey, or seeking motivation for fitness goals, we promise you'll find invaluable insights. We kick things off by exploring how these support systems do more than just solve problems—they foster a sense of belonging, provide motivation, and offer a buffer against stress and depression to help you achieve long-term happiness and well-being.

We dive deep into what makes a support network truly effective, emphasizing the importance of active listening, empathy, and creating a safe, non-judgmental space. Learn to recognize genuine listening cues and understand the profound impact of trust and comfort in fostering a supportive environment. We also look at the various motivations behind seeking out these groups and how to connect with the right people to support your unique journey.

Hear heartwarming stories, like how regular involvement in a local club keeps my Italian grandparents engaged and healthy, illustrating the profound benefits of community connections on mental health. Discover the uplifting effects of simple social interactions and get practical tips for accessing free community support resources, ensuring financial constraints aren't a barrier to building your social circle. Plus, we're excited to introduce a new feature that allows you to leave comments and engage more deeply with our community. Tune in and be inspired to connect and thrive!

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Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the Unfiltered Health Podcast. We are excited for EP73. Today we are discussing the importance of good support system and community.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, having a strong support system can make all the difference. We'll be digging into the importance of a support group, the evolution of how it's changed over time, the importance of leaning on the right people and who are the right people, being able to identify them. What's important for you to have in these networks and for those who feel closed off to a community or don't have a community they feel connected with what they can do.

Speaker 1:

So I guess first we'll get into it. Why do we need a support group to begin with, and how does it actually benefit us? Now a support group can be so many different things for different reasons. You can have a support group for I don't know if you're a first-time mom. You can have a support group if you're dealing with pain.

Speaker 1:

You can have a support group if you're losing weight like there are so many reasons you can have a support. I think a lot of people just think it needs to be something I don't know like drug and alcohol related yeah, because that's where I would kind of go with. Like you know, as soon as you think here support group, you're like, oh, it must be something like that you need to get out of, or that you're struggling so badly with Like it doesn't always have to be for a negative reason.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think the connotation of a support group being something that I think is just how our society is in general at the moment. I think it's changing, but I also think, like the connotation is that it's just definitely for something that's a bit more serious and you need to get out of something, like you said, and it's a negative relationship rather than actually being a the presence of a community that supports you and your growth and the connections that you can make, and I think that's kind of been lost a little bit yeah, definitely, and I think in terms of why we need one for so many reasons.

Speaker 1:

For one, it's a space where people can have discussions you know it's literally called a support group. So if people are struggling for a certain reason and again it doesn't have to be negative, it could literally be I don't know, you're looking to weight and so you are now in a support group. Example like a private gym where you're now doing group sessions, you're now getting involved in like a fitness challenge, and so your support group becomes the people that you train with. You push each other, you motivate each other, you encourage each other.

Speaker 2:

That's a great example of a support group yeah, and I think there's a couple things we have on the list today that describes this.

Speaker 2:

A support group in general and you've got here, steph uh, long-term well-being and happiness. It's a stress buffer, protects against depression. I think, just like looking at those from the first part of your dot points, the wellbeing aspect of a support group is highlighted and I feel, with our sense of self, our sense of belonging, having an ability to bounce off other people who have gone through similar situations or who have achieved things that you really aspire to achieve, going through similar situations or who have achieved things that you really aspire to achieve, being in a community can help you continually aspire to something. I think that's a really healthy thing. But it also can help you relate back to the pains and problems and stuff that you're going through and think maybe I don't have it that bad or I'm really like in a weird way. You know, listening to other people's problems sometimes do make you feel like, hmm, I can get through this or they did it that way and I can learn from this.

Speaker 1:

So from that point of view, yeah, support group can really help buffer against those issues that you're struggling with in life and it's just a good place to keep you motivated, you know, to make you feel like you're not alone, to make you feel like you're on this journey with other people and you know you're doing it together. That gives you a shoulder to lean on if you ever need it. Um, you know, if you are feeling really good, you get other people that are also in the same journey as you. That you know you're all feeling good together.

Speaker 1:

So you it's basically this little team of people that you know it's almost like a little family in a sense it's in a family, in a sense which, for so many different reasons, is so important, and I think it's something that isn't spoken enough about, because there are so many groups out there that people can be a part of. I think people just don't know what is out there always. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I think, yeah, like you're right when I think about ladies that live like, having a team has been able to make me bond with them, but also with my community, in such a different way, and I lean on my team so much so it gives me more meaning for myself, it gives me more like I feel responsible for my community, but I also feel like I'm more connected to my community because we're all together in different ways, whether they're directly coaching with myself or directly coaching with my other coaches, it doesn't matter. We're all having a quite a similar experience and the goal post is, you know, whatever? A little bit different for everyone fat loss, muscle gain, pain rehabilitation with Steph but I think, like having a group to lean on and, like you said, a shoulder to lean on is so nice and actually I don't have a better word, it's just so it makes you feel at home, like I love feeling at home with my community.

Speaker 1:

So especially when you're in a state where I I don't know you're a little bit tunnel vision or feeling really down, like that support group can be so useful and so helpful to pick you back up.

Speaker 2:

I've got so many examples of those Like when we come into train and one of my, like Nico or Chiara, will be like I don't want to train today and I'm like, no, let's go. Carol will be like I don't want to train today and I'm like, nope, let's go. Or I'll be like I don't want to train today. I'm totally like no, you're training.

Speaker 2:

It's like having that support. It's not necessarily like, no, you suck. It's more like no, come on, you can do this. It's just make it easier. Or like give you a different point of view to look at your coaching day or restructure something and make it easier. Like I think it's just always nice to have people around you who are just there to support you and just tell you the truth. Tell you the truth in like a tough love way. Sometimes. That's nice and when you have that relationship with people, it can be so much easier than people having to sugarcoat things and speak around the problem Like you don't. That's also not a good support group either. Like you don't want people to just sugarcoat stuff, because then you won't get better or you won't learn from other people.

Speaker 1:

You want to hear the raw, honest truth I think that's actually a good segue to what makes a good support group. Yeah, in terms of like, what do we look out for when we're looking for a support group, whether it be like a community, a group on social media? What are the characteristics that people should look for when trying to find a good support group?

Speaker 2:

We did workshop this last week we won't lie and we were thinking about this together and we both said active listening, like someone who actually listens to what you're saying and you can tell when someone has, because they summarize what you're saying or they just repeat what you've said in a different way and they're reframing it and they're listening. Like if someone's not listening, you'll know, because when you speak they will just talk all over you and say something that doesn't actually relate and they're making eye contact.

Speaker 1:

They're genuine.

Speaker 2:

Yes, the exactly body language, empathy, supportive, no gaslighting. They make you feel comfortable um they check in on you. They it feels genuine and they're not nosy and fake yeah, so they're checking on you.

Speaker 1:

It feels genuine and they're not nosy and fake. Yeah, so they're not. I guess they're not trying to fry things out of you for the sake of just wanting to know or the sake of being nosy. They also want you to open up because they're trying to create that safe space for you to vent or to share whatever's going on and you can feel that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly what I was going to say.

Speaker 2:

I feel like if you can't feel like your intuitive radar of someone and how you energise with someone, how the energies relate to each other, you can feel when someone's off, or I feel like I can do that quite well and sometimes yeah, I think if you haven't, if you like, I think life always is trying to tell you something and if you've always had people in your life who have you felt are fake or nosy, is there something that you're missing or you always very trusting with everyone? Or maybe you tell people things quite easily because you want trust and maybe you feel like that might build trust, but people aren't giving you that. I don't know. I think this like energy, reading someone's energy, being able to feel when someone's genuine.

Speaker 2:

I don't think that's easy, but I do think that's something that you learn over time and I don't know how you would teach that. But I think there are things like what we've listed, the active listening and the empathy, like do they actually care about you? Do they give you some advice when you ask for it? Do they lead you in a better direction? Or have they given you advice and it's led you down the wrong path and they didn't? Maybe you told them that you did path and they didn't.

Speaker 1:

Maybe you told them that you did something and they didn't even care yeah, and you know the, the space or the community that they offer is very open. It makes you feel very safe. Um, there's always information and resources that are freely accessible for you. You know you can go to someone. If it's just a group or an individual, you know that there's someone you can always go to to lean on, to chat with. If you have any questions or you're worried about certain things or you have any worries coming up, um, they're always pushing you to do better, they're always encouraging you, they're always motivating you and, most importantly, a space that you know, um, we mentioned it before, but a space that you feel comfortable in. You need to feel comfortable in your support group. If you're, if you're going to a group or you're part of a community and you don't feel comfortable, you feel quite reserved. You don't want to share things about yourself or your thoughts or your feelings.

Speaker 2:

It might not be the one for you also on that point, though sometimes it can be hard to learn how to open up and also, if you feel reserved or maybe you don't feel super comfortable, it could just be a time thing, like I know, when we have new people, and I'm sure you have the same thing they can be a little bit more reserved end.

Speaker 2:

And then you get to know them the sixth week, the seventh week, the eighth week and you've just got a bit of banter and they're opening up to you and I think that's a good like a signal that they're having a bit more of a trusting relationship with you and I think that's fine. If your trust with people is needs to take time girlfriends, boyfriends, whoever's listening to this show that's fine, like, take your time. But I definitely think if you don't feel comfortable after a month or two months or yeah, you might need to change.

Speaker 1:

And that's the thing right. Most of those clients that are initially shy and then, you know, five, six weeks later they start to open up. It's because of the environment that you have provided for them, it's because of the way that you listen, it's because of the way you care, it's because of the environment that you have provided for them, it's because of the way that you listen, it's because of the way you care, it's because of the time you take to get to know them, and that in itself is what makes them feel comfortable and willing to open up and I think if you don't have that environment or that environment is not present for someone that is trying to open up, then it may not be the right support system.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I totally agree with that. So, when it comes to having a support system and identifying whether they're the right people, we're kind of in a summarisation, saying you've got to feel that, you've got to feel that you have that trust, and it might take some time but it'll come.

Speaker 1:

And the person also needs to be able to listen, and so I think those are the main things, that, and they're not just like trying to receive information to use it against you, or I think it will also depend on what you're looking for as well, like why you want to seek a support group anyway, and I think that will kind of dictate where you go, where you look, what platform you use, whether it's like a face-to-face or an online support. I think that always just depends on why you need the support group in the first place.

Speaker 2:

Well, that leads into the next one, like why? Why is it important for you to have these networks? We've got a few points there. Do you want to go through them?

Speaker 1:

yes, I guess one of the first ones is um. I guess, from my perspective, I'm in my clientele to actually discuss your pain. If you're dealing with pain, um, but also, you know, from a mental as well, if you're having any mental problems, if you have any goals mentally, physically, it is important to then have a support group and network to help you get there or help you achieve whatever you want to achieve. Personal circumstances, you know relationship, work, stress, mental health, stress, whatever it may be. It's important for you to seek out guidance and help and support if you are struggling, um with any of those topics or situations um, period pain. We spoke about this on our last, second, second last podcast that we a couple of weeks ago that we've recorded. It's probably one anything women's health really related.

Speaker 2:

Doesn't get spoken about enough.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, episode 70. Doesn't get spoken about enough and I think that is something that does need to be spoken about more. And there are so, so many women's health or period pain groups that women can actually seek out business advice. I always seek out um mentorships, um learnings to help with. You know, I see I speak to raquel quite a bit in terms of business stuff. So it's always so important to have people in your circle that you can bounce ideas from and get some advice from from a business perspective.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's good to collate. It's good to collate, it's good to collaborate, from this point of view, in a society where which we kind of skimmed over at evolution, how it's changed it's not necessarily as functional, it's a little bit more abstract in how you might have to reach out to people and create those connections, because it's funny, after you finish school you've got people that you've grown up with for your life and perhaps you still stay in contact with those people. Perhaps you don't, but that's pretty much how your social structures start. For us it's building your. You know, you grow up, you have your cousins, you have your brothers, your sisters, whatever. Maybe you're a single child in a family and you have other people that you might be part of a creche or a childcare, whatever, right, a group that your parents put you in. And if you don't, then you have to find your way and you eventually get that in school and some people do have their groups and some people don't. So primarily it starts in school. You have your structures and then, once school ends or you might not go to uni you go to uni, whatever. That's the next part of your life and then eventually you get into work and I think over time you have to actually try harder to keep those social networks, because not everyone's free. People start having families, people start having their own different values, different priorities, and that's perfectly okay.

Speaker 2:

I think it highlights, actually, when my clients become pregnant, that when they don't have their family close to them, when they don't have those friendships, when they don't have those support structures nearby, that's when they need them the most is when the mothers usually crumble or they're unable to effectively maintain their mental health and their physical health. They're unable to effectively maintain their mental health and their physical health. So to me, this comes up in my mind a fair bit, thinking about having a child later in life is I want to be close to my family, I want to be within distance of them, because when I need support, I would like to rely on my family too, and not necessarily just being able to offload your child. Or I need to do this or I'm all about myself. No, it's just about being able to have your family help you in the journey, because it's all going to be new and if you have a look back on how we evolved, we didn't evolve as one person Like you had other people and other tribes that you networked with because they had other skills, they had other habits, had other habits, they had other tools, other foods.

Speaker 2:

You used to trade like we don't trade much, we just go to supermarket and everything's there like it's easy right. So the social connectedness has also changed because it's not you just pay a company. We used to build that relationship with another tribe and go, hey, like I would like this, can I swap you this? And we had would have a truce.

Speaker 2:

So this whole community connectedness is not just a superficial thing. It has changed drastically and when you look at from survival point of view, having a social community helps your longevity of life. It helps with your quality of life when you get older, into retirement. I've looked at so many stuff of this before. The people who have a longer life and quality of life are those who have friends.

Speaker 2:

Oh, absolutely, because if you don't have kids, okay, what do you do for the rest of your life, a and B? If you do have kids, they're going to outgrow you, your household. They're going to have their own family. They're going to want to do their own thing. That's what being a human is. You need to grow and evolve and change and do your own thing. That's fine, but who are you going to lean on, who are you going to hang out with?

Speaker 2:

The whole story changes again. So it's not just to me, it's not just as like, oh, I want to have, I want to be part of this group this week and I want to be part of that group that week. Or it's like who means a lot to you and you need to stay close to those people if they matter to you and you have similar values and shared experiences. You don't have to always keep in contact just how the world is, but I do think you want to have people that you can lean on and talk to and trust, because as you go through life, life is going to change and you you want to have people to help you out. You need to Like you can't survive on your own. A baby can't survive on their own, so we're not adult babies, but I think it's better to have people around you to help you.

Speaker 1:

This actually reminds me of my grandparents. So my mum is Italian, so my nonna and my nonna they have, um, like an Italian club that they go to all the time and they do dinner dances and they do lunches and my nonna and nonna are my nonna would be 85, 86 and my nonna would be 85, 86, and my non-non would be 79. Wow, and they still do like it's at least minimum once a week their lunches. Otherwise they do their dinner dances and they do really cute things in the community, like Christmas in July and they do like little Father's Day or they do Mother's Day. So they do all these really cute things and my grandparents look forward to it so much because it gets them out of the house, it gets them talking to people, like it's a good community for them.

Speaker 1:

If there is a week where my grandparents don't go out because there's like no dinner dances on, my grandfather is so grumpy and all he does is talk about his pain. He's like I'm so sore my joints, I hurt so much I can't do nothing, blah, blah, blah. But then the minute he's got a, do the dance. There's no pain, he's, he's happy, like his mindset and his mentality like total shift.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you totally total shift, yeah, don't you find true like this is a perfect example of when you spend all day by yourself in your room doing work. You're like I can't be bothered, I can't be bothered. You go out, you see someone that you know, you talk to them, or you go to work and you have your clients and you feel better you feel so good, so good.

Speaker 1:

There's been so many times where, I don't know, I've spent the morning just like feeling shitty or feeling really crappy. I've been like doing work and whatever, blah, blah, blah and I'm just like, oh, I have work tonight. Like I'm not feeling it, I can't be bothered. And then I see my first client and, within five minutes, switch, I feel good. I'm like, oh, why did I say that? I'm so silly, I love this. You know all the things. It makes such a difference, such a difference when you've got people that you're constantly talking to. And I think a good example of this is obviously when we had lockdown and how important like, if anything, it showed the importance of social interaction, having group, having support, because people that were on their own or people that didn't have jobs and were home, a lot of them struggled quite a bit because they didn't have that outlet yeah.

Speaker 2:

So this is another reason why you need to have support networks and just people that you can like. Like I love I'm not going to finish that sentence I love the fact that I can go to my local supermarket and I know the grocer, I know the butcher and I might see the regular cashier at the store and we just say hello, how are you? But we know each other. It's so nice. It's so nice. Or I go to the fruit shop oh where have you been this week?

Speaker 1:

Where have you been this week when?

Speaker 2:

have you been this week? Oh, how are you? Are you going camping Like people?

Speaker 2:

I love that I think you need to want to get to know your community as well, that you're in in your local community, because it doesn't have to be a fact that you have to pay a lot of money to join up to some group, to have friends or like. I don't think it needs to be like that, it just needs also means to be a good person in your community and active person your community and want to engage. Hey, are you? Are you the owner? Who's the owner? And you might want to talk to them, or the shop assistant might assist you, you might talk to them a little bit. How are you? It doesn't have to be this big thing. Sometimes it's nice just to be able to connect within your local community or find the local butcher, the local store, the local cafe, and that's where you go. You end up making friends with the cafe, the sorry, the cafe you make up. You make friends with the, the barista, right, do you want?

Speaker 1:

your regular coffee order this week?

Speaker 2:

yes, they know you by name, they know your business. Um, that's, I think that's important, that's empowering.

Speaker 1:

So important and I think as well, when people try are trying to seek out help or support, they often don't want to look because they get put off by, oh it's going to cost too much, or oh it's, it's going to be expensive. And the thing is there are so many free support groups, free community groups that come together that you can go to, that you can attend. There's so many resources like you actually don't have to pay for all these support groups that you think you might have to. And we we've even created a list of um sort of you know, if there is anyone who is feeling a bit closed off, um, if there is anyone who doesn't have, like, a community or support group and they don't know where to start or they can't necessarily afford it we have like a whole list that we came up with last week that you have direct access to without having to um pay for anything.

Speaker 2:

Yes, take us to the list uh I don't know.

Speaker 1:

The first one is we'll go one inch.

Speaker 2:

We'll go one inch all right, first one facebook groups.

Speaker 1:

Oh, you won't going to allow me.

Speaker 2:

Oh, do you want me to keep talking about the Facebook? No, you spoke about the Facebook groups already.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I spoke about it already. Yeah, I did. Oh, you're right, I did. I did All right. Council communities there is a lot of free council community support groups. One I know an example of. I have a client who is a new mum and part of her council is they do like a mother's group with the mums in her like suburb or council area, whatever you call it, and they actually get together. They have a Facebook group and they actually get together like once a month, like once a month. And now they've created like a little um whatsapp group where they share, like I don't know, the baby's first walk or first tooth and then if they have any issues, they uh, whether it's like I don't know, breastfeeding issues or sleeping, or blah, blah, blah, they all just like message each other that ask for advice and she said it's one of the best things she's ever done because it's helped her so much. And that is free.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you just have to look which is so cool. You just have to look for these things um running groups, lifting groups, I would say um your local gym everywhere there's running groups everywhere your local gym, your local payday. They probably run something you can just Google, even running groups lifting communities, joining a facility that sorry, joining a facility that might be their own studio, like you know they might have their own. They'll have their own community in that space as well. So that's, always fantastic Podcasts Us for example.

Speaker 2:

People do meet up from podcasts like podcast meet and greets.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely, and there's so many free resources on podcasts, you know if you're struggling with a certain thing, you want to hit a certain goal, go to a podcast, get information, get tips, it's literally all free.

Speaker 2:

The other one was the retreats and experiences. You can pay for something like that to go away on a holiday, kind of, and meet other people, connect with other people. You can do like a local one as well. I think they have one at like Mornington. Sometimes they have these retreats, or usually I think I've noticed a lot of wellness coaches. Fitness coaches do run these kinds of things.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think there's a girl that I follow she's a friend of mine, actually and she did a recent retreat I think it was in Torquay or something like that and she posted on her Instagram about how nervous she was and she's like I don't know why I'm doing this Like I have my own community myself, or something like that, and she said how beneficial it was to be with other women that she does never met before and she was nervous to meet them. But once she was there, she realized how everyone was so relatable and everyone shared similar insecurities and similar problems, and just being able to lean on other people made her feel like she could conquer the world, kind of thing. So, yes, just putting yourself out there, right? Yeah, I was gonna say something else with this. Oh, the other part of this one is the one that you don't have to pay for and that's just being out in your community networking out with the local cafe, the local bakery, the local butcher, the local bakery the local butcher, the local grocer, the local reject shop, whatever owner.

Speaker 2:

The sushi store, it doesn't matter, the tobacco west who cares sometimes just being able to say, hi, how are you, have a little conversation and you come back the next week or you come back another day, and I think that's such a simple way to meet people and make you feel, maybe, like you've got a little bit more of the community around you, when you know it's not necessarily very specific, you're not.

Speaker 2:

It might be a little bit more superficial Hi, how are you, or whatever, but those relationships can develop. I've seen that personally with my community Ladies at Lift at Against the Grind Shout out to Against the Grind in South Morang yeah Cafe Kathy the Grind. Shout out to Against the Grind in South Morang yeah Cafe, kathy the owner. We connect really well and I have a lot of my meetings there and I've got one of the workers as well that I've networked with and she knows us quite well too. You just build that relationship. We have really good conversations too and you feel like you can just talk about business and you can talk about what's going on and your relationship. Sometimes, if something comes up, you know you might ask how's things going and it's quite nice, it's quite nice to not feel limited to just having to pay for something.

Speaker 2:

It could just be a free thing that you just build over time with a network in your community. How good is that? Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

So I think that sort of wraps it up in terms of, I guess, the importance of you know if you don't have a support group that you are looking for and just know that there is an endless amount of resources out there for you. You just need to look and if you do have a particular goal or you are looking for a particular support group, you can always send us a message and we can guide you in the right direction yeah, feel free to drop one of those comments in the spotify boxes.

Speaker 2:

They've got the addition of you can leave a comment on each episode and I think if you have a comment of a group that you're part of, that would be awesome to put in the comments so people can also see what what groups are out there. All right? Well, like Steph said, I think that wraps us up for today. Thanks so much for being here. Anything else, steph? No, I think that's it. I think I think we're good, awesome, all right, thanks, everyone, thanks.