The Unfiltered Health Podcast
The Unfiltered Health Podcast delivers real, authentic conversations about health, wellness, and longevity. We break down complex health topics, sharing evidence-based insights, practical advice, and personal experiences. Our mission is to educate, inspire, and build a supportive community committed to living well and thriving together—no filters, just the truth about what it takes to achieve lasting health.
The Unfiltered Health Podcast
78 - Mind Over Matter; Transforming Your Mindset for Lasting Weight Loss
Unlock the secret to transforming your mindset and achieving lasting weight loss with insights from Raquel and Steph. Discover how shifting from a victim mentality to a creator mindset can be a game-changer in your fitness journey. We delve into the common obstacles people face, like waning motivation and unrealistic expectations, and share empowering anecdotes and strategies to inspire you to embrace change at any age.
Stress management is a pivotal topic, especially for menopausal women battling weight gain due to hormonal changes. We explore the impact of stress on productivity and appetite, and how it can lead to unhealthy habits like stress-eating. Learn effective relaxation techniques and the importance of community support to combat stress and foster better well-being. Personal stories highlight the value of connections and external help in alleviating isolation and enhancing health.
Reframing your relationship with food is crucial for positive change. We discuss breaking free from negative eating habits by understanding personal triggers and making informed dietary choices. Join us to explore these transformative mindset shifts and set the stage for your success.
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Welcome to episode 78. Everyone. We are discussing today why your mindset is holding you back for weight loss. We're going to go through three ways on how to maximize your weight loss as well, but today's conversation is purely going to focus around your mindset and Steph's going to explore the victim versus the creator mindset, and we'll also talk a lot about how your mindset can help your weight loss or hinder your weight loss yeah, cool, let's get into it.
Speaker 2:So I guess, raquel, for you, because you are the expert when it comes to this stuff and you work with a lot of clients that want their goal, or that their main goal is weight loss, what are the struggles that you see in terms of why clients might necessarily not be losing weight, in terms of their habits or their mindset? What do you commonly see with clients that comes up?
Speaker 1:usually first first thing is priorities, knowledge, I'd say. Secondly, priorities, because if they're moms with kids, if they've never done this before and it's introducing something new, it can be a little bit overwhelming to start something new and actually stick to it. So you know, when you're looking for weight loss depending whether it's five kilos or 20 kilos or more, there needs to be some sustainability factor to it. And people will often sign up to a gym. They They'll start for the first week They'll go five days a week. The next week they'll go four days and the next time they might go and do four days again and then it will taper off to like a single day or two days. Right, their motivation gets lost around that. I would say three to four week mark. There's no more hype in themselves and it can be really hard to for them to drive themselves and also work kids.
Speaker 1:Other priorities come into play. So that's definitely one. And then the knowledge. The knowledge gap of like, how can I make this sustainable? Often sustainability is missed. It's often just go all in and or go all out. There's there's no middle ground, and we spoke about this before on the podcast about the extremes. So the knowledge of how to make it sustainable. What to do when you do lose motivation. How to approach it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think those that would be the two things I would say where people go wrong in their weight loss journey, in their mindset you have quite a lot of clients that have unrealistic expectations in terms of they're expecting the results quickly, or do you attract a lot more clients that kind of understand that it is more of a longer process and that it does take time and it's a lot healthier for that sustainable weight loss Good?
Speaker 1:question we do attract I would say the latter, where people are more understanding that it actually is going to take some time and they actually have tried the quick and fast before and they don't want that again which is helpful, because for us it's like, okay, we need to set the expectations early that you're not going to be losing 10 kilos in two weeks, which some people like. I wish I was losing more than a kilo like, but the kilo is the standard.
Speaker 2:Like this is good yeah, it's like, this is healthy.
Speaker 1:The other way is not healthy yeah, and trying to break those expectations for people can be really challenging because of their mindset and and their own self-criticism of where they think they should be versus where they are, and not that inability to be grateful and happy with the effort that they've taken to get that 500 grams, that one kilo for that week. And you know they're totally trying to change their lifestyle and it's hard. It's not easy to make switches. It's not easy for people, especially when you're an adult, I think, when you're maybe a kid and you're easy influencer, young adult, really easy, like so much, so much, so so much.
Speaker 1:Less of your life has been involved in change, maybe, maybe. Whereas when you're 30, 40, 50, 60 and you've gone through things, you've done things, you've tried things, it's failed how many times have you fallen down? When you're older, I think it's a lot harder for people to change. So there's this mindset that becomes really hard to overcome. But that's just a generalization. That's not for everyone. Look, there are definitely young people I'm sure you would see as well who overthink a lot, and then you've got the other special where they're 60 and they're like carefree. So it is a generalization, but I would say that's probably our clientele where it is harder for them to change the older they get and I would say it's very much.
Speaker 2:You know, there might be things that come up where clients might use the excuse you know like, oh, I'm older, I'm never gonna lose weight. It's kind of like the mindset of settling.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I hate that mindset yeah, yeah, the settling mindset and I hate that mindset. Yeah, yeah, the settling mindset and I get that too with clients. Tell me more. Tell me more about what you get.
Speaker 2:Like you might get a typical you know I'm getting older, so my knees are just bad. Or you know I can't, I can't run because I've got the bad bad knees. Or, um, you know I just can't train anymore because I'm getting older. Like I do hear a lot of that I'm getting older, it's because I'm getting older, it's because I'm getting older and it's that. It's that real settling mindset of like oh, I just have to live with this because I'm getting older.
Speaker 1:That grinds my gears. As Aussies would say I grind my gears.
Speaker 1:We went camping this week to Lake Ilden and we met someone, um, who I haven't really met before I've met him once and he's older. We went camping with a group of people and he was like an uncle or something. Anyway. We he were talking about occupations and he obviously I spoke to, I was PT and he was asking me questions about how can I lose some weight or how can I feel better. Anyway, long story short, he, I'm a no bullshit person.
Speaker 1:So when people start pulling the age card, I said no, honestly, I'm sick of hearing this. I said it's just a lie. You're just telling yourself to make yourself feel better. And he was settling with the fact that by 70 he'd be like, or 75, like in 10-15 years, it doesn't really matter, he'll be on his deathbed. Like he was settling for that. And I was like are you kidding me? Like he's like I'm already old, like who cares, whatever happens.
Speaker 1:And I was just sitting in this conversation and I wasn't taking it. I was like you're happy that in 10, 15 years your life's going to be done. Like, is that what you're saying? And he's like no, no, no. But like you know, I'm getting older and I have no one to impress anymore and I was like this is such a low way of thinking. Like you are so young, you're 50, whatever 60. And in 10, 10, 15 years, so much could happen. Wow, so many opportunities can still happen for you when they are that age. I don't know what's happened for you to think that in 10, 15 years, your life's over why, and you know what it's, it's really common as well.
Speaker 2:Although, in saying that, last week I had a conversation with a client. He probably would have been in his 60s and he he was asking me for advice on meniscus rehab and he plays soccer and so he always played soccer as a kid and a teenager and actually played for Australia, so he's quite a good soccer player and so now he does a lot of coaching for younger kids. And he said you know, I've torn my meniscus but, um, you know, what can I do about it? Because I need to get back to playing soccer like I just have to.
Speaker 2:He's like I'm not quitting and he's in his 60s and I'm like I love this so much because most of the time. I'll get clients being like I can't run anymore, I can't lift anymore because I'm old. And that's just the way it is, and that's how it goes and it's like no, why are we settling for this?
Speaker 1:absolutely not yeah, I really wonder, and if there's anyone in the audience who like knows other people in their life, who has like people in their network, who has this mentality, I don't know if anyone else gets a little bit frustrated by it and you don't really know what to say.
Speaker 1:But, like I knew, I know what to say now because I'm like I'm not taking that, but it's more to me like if you have someone in your life who's just settling, I would seriously put it back on them like are you happy knowing that in 10, 15 years, that you're okay with that, that you're not going to be able to walk, that you're going to be in a wheelchair, that you might have to go to a home, that your mental health and your brain cognition is going to deteriorate? You're more at like risk of Alzheimer's and dementia the more you sit and the more sugar you eat. The type type there's a type 3 diabetes and it's called alzheimer's. So I think a little bit of like fear factor is good to put on people and go like are you okay with that? Are you actually serious? Are you sure? Because, like we would see people on social media and also in our life my mom's 60 turning 60 next year. Sorry, she'll hate that I said this I was gonna say, oh, she's gonna kill you for that.
Speaker 1:And she is so fit and she is so healthy like she has her own things that she needs to work on whatever. She gets some injuries sometimes but she's a trooper, she eats well, she looks good, she feels good, she's healthy and I think like in 10-15 years she's going to have so much energy still with, hopefully, my kids and you know I'm still going to be around like this is this is nice to think and it's also when it comes to that weight loss factor as well.
Speaker 2:It's kind of like you're not just doing it for an aesthetic, you know point of view. You're doing it for your health. You're're doing it so you know your organs can function better. You're doing it for longevity. You're doing it so you don't have to have all these health conditions that come up because you know you're you're a little bit too overweight. You know it's it goes, and the older we get, as well it's very much goes past that. Oh, I want to lose weight because I want to look good in a bikini, or you know, I just want to look really skinny like everyone on Instagram. It's more so.
Speaker 1:I want to lose weight because I want to be healthy yeah, and I think that's always asking the person that you're talking to. What does health look like for you? What is your vision of health? Because weight loss can be defeating sometimes. Like we said at the beginning of this podcast, when you're chasing a number constantly, it can feel really annoying and frustrating and maybe you're placing your worth too much on the number. So I think exploring what else is a benefit of what you're doing and what you're trying to achieve, what is the other benefits besides the weight loss?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's deeper than this, just looking at the scales and just looking at one point. And that's where you're molding your mindset, because when you're opening your lens to the why and like the deep root, why not just oh, I want to drop some numbers on a scale? It's no, but why do you want to do that? Why do you want to lose a bit of weight?
Speaker 2:it's so you can run after your grandkid and not feel puffed out or pull a hamstring. It's so your heart can be better and you know you're not placing stress on your heart and you're reducing your chances of having heart conditions. Because it runs in your family, you know it's to take pressure off your joints because you have osteoporosis in the family. You need to get strong to, you know, reduce your chances of that. It's when you start putting those whys into place that then starts to, I feel, mold your mindset because you get that better understanding of hey, you're not just doing it because you want to look good, it's for so many other different reasons as well yeah, I was literally talking to one of my coaches this morning about, like, always coming back to the why, like, why is it important for the client?
Speaker 1:because, at the end of the day, 20 kilos, 10, it's just a freaking number, but what's the story?
Speaker 1:and you gave a really good description of the stories in terms of illness, but what about the other stories in terms of, like, attracting a partner, feeling confident to wear those clothes, feeling comfortable, being in your group of your circle of friends, going on an airplane? That was one of our clients concerns recently about going on an airplane for 22 hours sitting in a seat, being uncomfortable with her body weight around other people and being stuck in the ground this is a really realistic, real experience absolutely absolutely I think like there's more to it and when it comes to weight loss, if you bring it back to like, what is holding people back from losing weight, it's always the mindset yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, whether it's a time issue, do you have the time? Is it your priority, like you said? Is it a knowledge gap? Whatever it is, it's your mindset that is leading you down.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Because it holds you back from achieving and just getting on with the thing, just doing it.
Speaker 2:It's a concept battle in your head. It's you versus you. You know, if you wake up one day, you look at your, you look at your clock and your alarms at 6am and you're like, oh, I can't be bothered, I want to snooze your mindsets. You know it's your mindset being like, okay, we're gonna not do this, we're gonna feel a bit lazy. And then you snooze the next day, and then the next day, the next day, and then your head's one you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:it's that constant battle. I did this the other day. I was like I don't want to go to gym. I've been on my desk since like eight to like four. I like sat on my phone for 15 minutes and then I posted something on my story, like with a funny filter like I I don't post about fitness much, but I also CBF and then once I posted that I was like all right, let's go. I don't know what it was and I was like all right, just go, just get it done it's just a bit of accountability.
Speaker 2:It's like I posted it now, so I have to. I have to show the people that.
Speaker 1:I'm training, I felt like, yeah, shame if I didn't. But at the same time it's like I wanted to also sit down and just watch an episode of loss. But I'm like I yeah, shame if I didn't but at the same time it's like I wanted to also sit down and just watch an episode of Lost. I'm like I can also do both. I can go train. I only spent 35 minutes training too, like that's the other thing. You don't need an hour or two hours. 35 minutes, I prefer it.
Speaker 2:I'm the same. I want in and out. I want to train hard, but I want to train hard, but I want to get to that 30, 40 minutes being like I'm done, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm done. It doesn't have to be complicated, like there are a lot of sets, reps, systems, methods, sure, but at the end of the day it all doesn't matter if it's not going to be consistent.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly Exactly. And when it comes to your mindset, that's what you're chasing. So you're chasing or you're trying to mold your mindset to be able to reach whatever goal you have. And if we're talking about weight loss, it's well, what kind of mindset do I need to have in order to lose weight? And when you're breaking it down, it's kind of that okay to lose weight, and when you're breaking it down, it's kind of that okay. What attitude do I need to have? The person that you know is 10 kilos lighter future me what does she look like? How does she feel? What attitude does she have? How often does she train? What does she think about herself? When you start kind of like thinking about your mindset and your attitude and you compare it towards, like the future you that's going to be able to achieve that, it's kind of like cool. How do I need to think to become that?
Speaker 2:yeah the ideal self the ideal self.
Speaker 1:I think that can be also quite intimidating for some people too, sometimes, because it's like an overwhelming like I but what if I don't get there? But what if that's not true? Oh, but I don't do that now. It's like all this. I feel like I've been thinking about this a little bit, actually.
Speaker 1:Anyway, it's in relation to your thoughts and how you can really think all your thoughts are true absolutely and this is true for me, like before period week, like just like in seven days, ten days prior, like my thoughts have to become a little bit like garbage and I'm learning how not to accept that every single thought is not true yeah and and letting it go, because the more I've learned this as well recently, the more reaction you put onto that particular thought that you think you're not good enough, that you're not doing enough or whatever it might be for you.
Speaker 1:Your emotional response will be remembered to what what you think is true in your thoughts and they might not be true.
Speaker 1:So don't give them so much validation, don't give them so much power, and there has to be a way for you to let yourself be free of the thought, because it can be really hard. So I think I'm trying to go. This kind of concept is like whatever you're thinking, don't always believe it. And what Steph is saying about building that ideal self, it's a really good way to go. Well, this is what you can empower yourself to be like. And if you want that future version of yourself and you're looking forward to losing weight, you're looking forward to being fitter, running with your kids and not going to the hospital as much, not relying on doctors as much, whatever it might be, you know it's going to come with a shift of your mindset too, because you can't get that thing, that thing that you want so much, without a new version of yourself and also, I think, letting go of um guilt and expectation.
Speaker 2:Sometimes that goes into um and that expands into your the thoughts that you were saying, how I keep thinking negatively. Then that leads into you having maybe a negative reaction and then like doing something, like wrecking your mood or feeling crappy or you know whatever it may be and it's as simple as that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely no, I think, keep going, because that was good what you're saying. I was agreeing with you. I went mind blank oh no, it happens sometimes on the pod.
Speaker 2:I went on a tangent and I was, I was thinking about what I said, and then I looked at you and you were nodding and then I was like yes, exactly and my brain just went gone.
Speaker 2:What? What was I going to say? What was I getting at? What was the point I was getting at? Oh, the guilt. I know what I was getting at Having guilt and the negative thoughts.
Speaker 2:It reminds me of a client I used to see who had who was very hard on herself when it came to training and she used to train all the time, like five, six days a week, sometimes seven. She would train so much, okay, but if there was a day where she didn't train or she had two days off, she would feel so guilty about it to the point where she would throw in the towel and it would wreck her whole week. It'll mess her whole week up. And I was really trying hard to get her out of that mindset of that all or nothing approach, but then also to teach her that less is always more as well. It doesn't. It's not always more is more.
Speaker 2:But I think she was just so fixated on needing to do something every single day, Otherwise it wasn't going to be good enough, and that in itself, that mindset, that was the thing that was letting her down. It was because she wasn't going to be good enough and that in itself, that mindset, that was the thing that was letting her down. It was because she wasn't getting results and it was kind of like it's not because you're not training, because you are, you're training all the time. It's that you're having that expectation that you need to do something every single day and you're not actually progressing. It's not structured, it's not, um, something that you're doing, you know, each week, with progression, it's just literally a bit of this and a bit of that, and I'll pick this this day and I'll pick that that day, so it's random bouts of training and exercise. It's not structured and it's not progressed weekly. And then, if it is, you know, a week where it's four days a week instead of six days a week, then the next week will be nothing.
Speaker 1:Okay, you spoke about a few things One, the less is more concept.
Speaker 1:The two, progressive overload, and the three was mostly her stress like competing on her ability to just do the work, but at the same time she was also sound like she was overtraining and very sporadically with, so you couldn't progress with the overload. Let's talk about those three things. One, the less is more. Concept is really important, but for a client like that it's so hard for them to let go exactly. So, yes, less is more because you need, you need to rest and you do it. Little body recover because you will get better results when you're recovered to. To the progressive overload. You're right, if it's all random and not planned, look, you probably can get like a little bit of result, but then there's going to get to a point where you stagnate and then that's when people come and say like I'm not seeing results anymore, yes, and it's like, well, there's no progressive overload here there's too much variety.
Speaker 1:It's too random. So, in terms of the gym like and any any training program there's, you need some, some plan. And then the three, the stress like equal to recovery. The more stressed you are, the less you can get away with. I feel like, for me personally, like when I'm stressed, my appetite is suppressed a lot yes I don't eat a lot, um.
Speaker 1:And then there might be the other spectrum where you're stressed and you're stressed eat, yes, or you stress train, or you stress rest. So you just don't do anything and I've never called it like that before but you're just not productive. And then you essentially judge yourself all day, don't do anything. Any of those angles is a probably combination for not success. So where's the middle ground where you can do a little bit of something and you know? If the non-productiveness is making you feel more stress, do one task, you know. If you haven't done any work all day, okay, jump on your laptop. If you're a business owner, do one thing. If you haven't done any work all day, okay, jump on your laptop. If you're a business owner, do one thing. If you're working for someone else, all right, you're just gonna have to hit what? At least one kpi, for god's sake, keep your job. You need the cash.
Speaker 2:Inflation's high yeah, it's not letting um, it's not letting the guilt eat at you and ruin your day, yes, and ruin your mood and then ruin your week and then ruin your progress yeah, and for menopause women, just a little bit of a side element.
Speaker 1:When they are stressed, their hormones don't do what we want them to do, like an 18 year olds would. So there's other equation of the weight loss aspect. When an older adult female is stressed out, the weight loss doesn't come as easy yeah so you need to do something that elicits this relaxing, parasympathetic nervous system regulation breathing.
Speaker 1:Go outdoors, get some sun on your skin, go for a walk, pat your dog, feed your pets, make yourself some lunch, put some music on, dance a little bit, whatever it might be that just allows you to rest and digest, because that stress is not going to help with weight loss. It's a lot easier for an 18, 20, 25 year old to drop weight, depending on certain circumstances, as well than it is for 50, 60 year old who hasn't done any training or has done very random, sporadic training.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, especially with stress, because stress is the body being in that final flight mode and when they're in that mode they want to protect their body. So the last thing they're going to want to do is to drop weight because they want to conserve all their energy, they want to store all their food and they're not going to want to let it go because they're in a state of distress. So the body just wants to hold and protect.
Speaker 1:Yep, that's perfect explanation. I love that. That was so good.
Speaker 2:And I think that's even. That's even for most people. I mean, I think with menopausal women it's worse because their hormones are also irregular, so that's going to have a massive influence. But if someone that isn't going through menopause male or female, um, even in their teens, 20s, 30s, if they're, if they are stressed, they may lose a bit of weight just say if they're under eating and they're training hard but one, it's not weight that is sustainable nope two, it's not healthy because probably the way they're dropping weight is quicker due to the stress.
Speaker 2:And three, they're most likely losing muscle as well as fat, and not just the fact that they want to lose yeah, oh, I can speak on that.
Speaker 1:It's quite personal. But like in the first after covid year, like my stress just ramped the hell up, like a lot was happening and I lost seven kilos because of stress, because I was not eating, I was going like hours without food and my body dropped weight so quickly.
Speaker 1:I was loving it, but it wasn't for the right reason and yeah this year I actively was like, no, I want to gain some weight and like, push myself because I need to get my food, like I'm being a lot better than that first time post-covid, but yeah, wow, it's not healthy, it's not sustainable. You will eventually, like, your food habits change and they will change as you go through life. But to achieve weight loss and make it sustainable, make it like so you don't have this distorted relationship with food, that's what stress like your appetite suppressant with stress will do. It's a distorted relationship, it's not normal and like. For myself, I'm a pt, I need a lot of energy, I need, I need liftings like I can't, it's not healthy, but at the same time it kind of works because I'm in the gym, I'm busy, like I've got a lot of muscle. So there's this coinciding fact where you're a professional, you understand what you shouldn't and should be doing, but there's almost this inability to so it'll be.
Speaker 1:It comes in phases and like your life is seasonal. So if you're going through that right now, I just want to assure you that it's okay, you're all right, you're not alone. Reach out to either of us to discuss it if you need some support and if you need. We spoke about like talking about this actually this week about a community. If you feel alone, find a community that you can belong to and feel a sense of like, connectedness, and connect with other people who are going through the same thing as you. Because, honestly, the more you talk about this stuff we say it all the time the better it gets, yeah, better it feels, better it gets, yeah, you can relate yourself, you don't feel alone anymore because no one, we're not alone.
Speaker 2:We're stuck in four walls, but we're not alone and it is very much all about flipping the mindset to opening up your lens and not being so. Tunnel vision in the fact that one mindset is you're feeling alone and so you're alone with the thoughts.
Speaker 2:And then it trails off to something feeling very negative and affecting your mood and everything else. And then two is your mindset is oh, I'm feeling alone, but hey, I know I'm not actually alone, I'm gonna go talk to someone, and then that's gonna lead to your mood feeling better and then you leading to better outcomes in terms of feeling more positive, feeling more energized. So there's two different outcomes. One is obviously negative, one's also positive. So how you react to that and your mindset and how you move forward with certain obstacles or certain thoughts, that's going to dictate moving forward 100.
Speaker 1:It's really good points you make, steph.
Speaker 2:I love them and that's what I'm talking um with clients in. I'm trying not to go off on a tangent here, but I talk to clients a lot about what do you mean?
Speaker 2:we can do whatever we want about the um victim versus creator mindset. And the victim mindset is very much like your negative bubble. It's the I can't do this, I will never be able to do that um. It's why me, it's oh, you know, x, y and z is wrong, so I'll just never get better. It's that settling, it's a feeling like you just can't do the things you want to do, and it's very negative. It's very tunnel vision.
Speaker 2:People might say to you, hey, we can try this approach or give you certain suggestions, but you're very tunnel vision and then no, I can't. No, I won't, no, I won't be able to. You're focusing on very much the things you can't control. You think you're focusing and you're comparing a lot to the things that you don't have and that leads you down that rabbit hole of that whole victim, negative mindset. And then you've got your creative mindset or your creator mindset where, when you're being told you can't, you're thinking, oh, I can. When you're being told you know, maybe it's going to be too hard, you're going to have a look at as in in terms of or what are my options?
Speaker 2:you're going to open your lens to more possibilities and you're not going to take no for an answer yeah you'll see, you know setbacks as opportunities to grow, whereas, like the victim mindset will see setbacks as the end of the world or the end of the road I think that's can be really hard as well to change that thought process like we've spoken about today.
Speaker 1:It's all about the mindset, I guess, but it is possible. You can bring yourself to a place of ease just by not reacting to your negative emotion so much, having a close group of friends or people that you can network with and connect with. Seeking other external support as well, like whether it's therapy. Yeah, I think it's very possible, but it just takes a lot of work and people need to realize that it's going to take time. It's not going to be a week. It's might not be like James clear, the 30 day habits. It's not going to be whatever. It's going to take time and you know what. You're going to fluctuate between the victim and the creator, the victim and the creator, and then you're just going to kind of go into linear fashion. Hopefully and eventually that victim won't be so obvious and perhaps when you do have setbacks you might feel a little bit oh, that's a shame, rather than the whole world's ending like, yeah, it's that approach too.
Speaker 2:It's like I think it's the expectation of like people feel like they just always need to feel good or they always need to be positive and they always have to have their shit together, and it's like no life is very up and down, yeah, and you're going to go through high periods, you're going to go through low periods, you're going to go through really shit periods, and that's that's normal, but it's how we react and how we pull ourselves out of that.
Speaker 1:That's what is going to dictate how long we're in that position, for how long we're feeling like that for yeah, james always says like it doesn't matter what comes up like with problems, but it's always how you solve them, how you come out of it, yeah. So how do you react? So that's exactly what. That's exactly what everyone needs to do just less reaction, more chill and it is hard sometimes.
Speaker 2:It's hard sometimes depending on your mood. Um, depending on your day. Like you know, you could have had like the crappiest day ever and then the tiniest thing is you know wrong in your house and then you just absolutely lose it and you know you know, when you have a fight with I don't know, yeah, you have like an argument with, like your sibling or your parent and it's something it's over the most ridiculous thing. But you know deep down, you're not arguing because someone left I don't know the dishes in the sink the dishes in the sink.
Speaker 2:But it's really because the way you're feeling, or like a build-up of stuff that's happening.
Speaker 1:Or like you've just got home from work and you're getting a million questions. You're like can you just let me eat first and then I'll answer your questions yes, yes, it's that or you know someone getting mad for leaving one shoe on the floor or something.
Speaker 2:You know, something like something bothering you. That is just like why? Why is it bothering you? It shouldn't really bother you that much.
Speaker 1:But that's why you have to have boundaries and that's why, like, you need to be clear with, like when you're not feeling mentally capable, like like listen, I've had a really long day, can I, can you just let me have like an hour to let me come back?
Speaker 1:yes yeah, because the boundaries also is related to success of whatever it is that you're doing and that can be hard to explain to people, but it's not, doesn't take a lot of work, it's just. Hey, I need to let you know I've had a long day. Give me a moment, or I've been in bed all day, so this is actually a really big step for me to come to the gym.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Or if you're going through, you know, a weight loss period and you're like I just bloody craving a chocolate. You're like I'm going to have the damn chocolate today and I'm going to enjoy it, and then the rest of the day.
Speaker 1:I'll eat really good and it's like not that guilt factor it can be so hard.
Speaker 1:It can be so hard. It can be so hard, I think, for me personally, like I can eat it, I'm like, yeah, whatever, all right, fine, I can cancel this and this on my apple, I can change it like whatever, I'm fine, I don't. I was actually writing a post and it's like the more your head space is uncomfortable around certain foods, like the more pressure and tension you have in relation to is it a bad food? Oh my god, I shouldn't have it. I don't have that anymore. It is it a bad food? Oh my gosh, I shouldn't have it. I don't have that anymore.
Speaker 1:It's like it's just, if I want it, I'm going to eat, and if I don't want it, I don't want it. There's no like emotional attachment to any food anymore and I feel like if you're looking for weight loss, that's also a really good tip. You need to learn to have less emotional to certain foods, less less connection to foods Like this makes me feel good, I need to have this Like. That has to change. You need to change that mindset because there's not no food expresses any emotion. So why are you expressing emotion with food?
Speaker 2:How do you get there? Like you know you, you've said yourself. So now, you're in a position.
Speaker 2:Yeah, now you're in a position where you know you'll have the food, or you'll you'll eat this and you're not gonna be worried or bogged down by you know, oh it's not good for me, or I've got to exercise now, or this is in this. Now you're in a position where you freely eat it. You do the things, what, I guess? What changed or how did you change your mindset? Or what strategies, I guess, did you put in place to try and like, flip the switch and make it easier? And I know it's a hard one too, and I know it's something that's probably taken a very long time to get to.
Speaker 1:But what's some?
Speaker 2:advice, I guess, or some starting tips or starting points that you would give to our audience to kind of reframe or reshape how they think about I think I think listening to podcasts that talk about this stuff is super empowering.
Speaker 1:When I was first trying to figure out what was wrong with this binge eating issue, it was when I was like 16 17. I just googled it. I just decided to use google and I was like why do I overeat all the time? Why do I can't, why can't I stop thinking about food and eating so much food? Like just something like that. And it came up with binge eating disorder and I was like what the hell is this? I'm like, oh my god, like all these symptoms came up and I was like this is me. Did that freak you out?
Speaker 1:no, it made me feel normal and I was like oh my god, I am not alone and I'm not just crazy, because I was trying to think, like at that age 16, 17 like what is wrong with me, like what is going on? Why do I have this constant thought in the morning I can't wait to eat breakfast, like when I wake up now, like I don't thinking about food, I'm thinking about how cozy I am in bed and maybe a work thing that I need to do, or yeah whatever what happened on the episode of the show I was watching last night, not thinking about food anyway.
Speaker 1:So I think first step is awareness, understanding what the symptoms are, um. And secondly, disassociating a little bit from certain foods, um, taking away and removing those trigger items in your house, because the less that you're triggered by something, the more space you have time to heal from the next time that you will face it. So, for example, the peanut butter. The dates were a lot of my triggers and I would binge on peanut butter. So I decided no peanut butter, I'm not buying this shit anymore. And then I'd go through weeks where I bought the peanut butter and then I binged on it, and then I'd go through months where I stopped buying the peanut butter. Then I'd be around it and then I'd binge on it again for a week and then be done with it for a few months. I'd freeze it, like I would do this back and forth. This took a long time, like I would say at least five years yeah and eventually I just got turned off it.
Speaker 1:I just stopped eating it. I didn't like it, I changed, I just I just literally stopped buying it. Like, stop it. Like, raquel, if you're serious about healing your relationship with this item of food that you seem to not be able to control yourself with, you need to just stop. Um, so that was something. And then I think also for people who are struggling with food.
Speaker 2:Um, oh, I was on the tip of my tongue before I've lost it um, I took away from that um, definitely educating yourself better and understanding why you're feeling the way you're feeling yes, sorry, you rejigged my memory.
Speaker 1:It was learning about the importance of protein, fats and carbs yeah, there you go and it had nothing to do with training. But, like building muscle obviously is really important because it changes your focus from like the eating to the moving, but understanding how much protein, fats and carbs I needed and actually that sometimes I could include a little bit of peanut butter Again it was still a really big struggle not to overdo.
Speaker 1:it Taught me a lot about nutrition and taught me a lot that I can fuel my body with other things because I was craving like nutrition. I was craving to be nourished, yeah yeah, and it's that balance.
Speaker 2:Yeah, understanding the balance, it's definitely. And I think when you mentioned there the education on protein, fats, carbs, I do get a lot of clients that come in and just say, if they do mention that they're trying to lose weight, one of the first things that they say is they're not eating carbs.
Speaker 1:People let it go quickly.
Speaker 2:They let it go so quickly, I guess because they don't have that understanding of what a carb is, why it's important, how to include it into your diet. I think people just associate carbs with bad food, fast food, breads, heavy burgers, junk, and and you know, it's not my scope, it's not my area, so I'll often refer them to like a podcast or if they're looking for a nutrition, I'll refer them to you. Um, just so that they can better educate themselves on just changing their mindset on how and opinions and how they view certain food items.
Speaker 1:It's tough. It's tough but, like, as soon as you get educated, the whole script changes. So it's easier said than done, but if you empower yourself, you will always be on your way to success. You'll always be able to move on and move forward. You need to empower yourself, you need to be willing to learn and unlearn things, and it's going to take time and years not weeks most likely and eventually you'll come to a place where you're free, and you're free with, without that need, an emotional connection and drive and reactiveness to something. It's so freeing and fulfilling.
Speaker 2:I have a funny story on that. Last year I got into this habit of eating a Tim Tam every night, like just one Tim Tam really. I don't know why. It wasn't even like I like Tim Tams, but it's not like I don't know, I just it actually became a habit, so like I would finish dinner and then go to the cupboard, open up cupboard, eat a tim tam and then pull like, do whatever what else I needed to and I was doing it every single night and it turned into a habit and I was like why am I doing this?
Speaker 2:why am I in this team? I don't even want this team term like I like tim tams, but am I having one every night? Like it was just this weird habit that I built up and I was like that's it. I want to see how long it takes for me to stop thinking about it, because I would just say there would be one night where we didn't have any Tim Tams left and I was like, oh, it's a really crazy Tim Tam. And then I was like hang on a second.
Speaker 2:No, you're not Like, you've just developed this weird habit of just like having it, just because it's there, and so then, I went through like a period where I said that's it, like I'm not buying any Tim Tams because out of sight, out of mind, I don't want to think about it. Yep, and you know, the first couple of days was kind of like reach for the Tim Tam, oh no, tim Tam, okay, whatever, and I didn't replace it. I've just like had some more water or had a tea or whatever, and then went to bed. And then over time, over the weeks, I forgot all about it.
Speaker 2:I forgot that it was like a habit that I used to, I used to do. I forgot that. I like even thought of it. I stopped thinking about it. And then, you know, the Tim Tams came back, mum, mum put them in the cupboard and bought them again. I opened up the cupboard, um, after, and I looked at the Tim Tams and I was like close the cupboard, like back out, like broke the habit which is crazy, but it's like it's such a good story of like you can change your habit if you, if you try, and that habits are there but you can build a new one, you can alter that habit like you can create and change habits.
Speaker 2:They don't have to stick around forever and it is definitely possible you have the power. It is all you and your mindset.
Speaker 1:I love how you were going months with it and then you realized somewhere between that time that was like I don't actually want to do this anymore and you actually listen to yourself, but that's the thing you listened. I think like after I don't actually want to do this anymore and you actually listen to yourself, but that's the thing you listened. I think, like after dinner time, sweet is actually quite common.
Speaker 2:So common. It's like oh, just something a bit you know sweet to finish off the night. Yeah, why Replace it?
Speaker 1:Replace it with something else, or like a tea or an apple.
Speaker 2:Yes, I just have nothing Like you're't, like Steph, do that strong like me, which I know, which I know it's hard because it's it's um, it's not for everyone but it's not a strategy for everyone, but definitely out of sight, out of mind, I find makes a big, big difference, huge difference. But yeah, it all comes back to your attitude. Yeah, and challenging yourself. I found that for me, I think the biggest one was like it was a challenge. I was like I want to see if I can break this habit of this weird tim tam obsession every night yes, you made it a little bit of like I made a bit of a challenge.
Speaker 1:Come on step let's see if my, let's see if I can train my brain out of this I like that because some people need that challenge and that's why a lot of challenges with training do really well, because they need something to motivate them. But then you also understood that after this, like you didn't want to keep doing that, so it stopped becoming a challenge, just became like okay, I don't need it anymore.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's that mindset change, like that creative mindset that I spoke about. It's part of that is also shifting your perspective on making it more of like a challenge or making that habit fun. So then you don't see it as like, you don't see it as something that's like a chore.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I gotcha that makes sense. Good effort, that effort. That's my Tim Tams story. I love that. I love personal stories. It's good, I like them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think they teach really good lessons, especially for building a habit. I know we spoke about the book Atomic Habits and how it takes a certain can't remember the um stat, but there's a. It takes a certain amount of days to create a habit like 28 days, something, something like that, yeah um, actually change, but it's yeah. The good takeaway of that is you can always change your habit and you can always create a new one.
Speaker 1:It just takes repetition, yeah yeah, like it's achievable, just gotta keep going keep going.
Speaker 2:It's like the habit of healthy eating, the habit of training, the habit of uh exercising often, the habit of thinking good, the habit of putting yourself out of those or taking yourself out of those negative thoughts and thinking differently.
Speaker 1:They're all habits, I think you've summed up this podcast nicely and, um, yeah, I think with that, I think this is a great episode and would appreciate anyone who's listened to this to reach out to us and let us know if you also enjoyed it.
Speaker 2:Um yeah, and let us know if you've um implemented a strategy that was spoken about that you found has worked for you. If you have tried or are going to try something and you found it really helpful, pop it up on your stories.
Speaker 1:Give us a tag, because we'd love to hear all about it and if you think anyone else can benefit from this episode, please share it with them directly and get them on, so then you guys can share and reap the rewards of dual mindsets in the right place.
Speaker 2:Creating better habits together.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love that that's hot, All right, Thank you everyone. Thanks Steph.
Speaker 2:See you.